There’s a lie that American (and worldly) society tries to indoctrinate into all black girls and women. It’s one that I even thought myself for a while – that my job was to assist any and everyone with none of my needs being met in return. That is no longer my existence, and it will never be yours.  

So many people will try to convince you that nobody cares what a black woman thinks or feels. But I’ve always wondered, if this were the case then why do people work so hard to oppress black girls and women all over the globe? When you walk down the street and see a bum, you don’t envy the bum or think, “Wow, I’d like to switch places with them.” 

Yet, people work so hard to denigrate and take from black girls and women. Why would they work so hard to call us ugly and tell us we were unattractive if we weren’t beautiful? Why would they swear we were unintelligent if they didn’t see that we are intellectual geniuses? Why would they work so hard to keep us trapped in cages if they didn’t see how much we shine while they operate in a space of darkness, all the while our light illuminating their lack of it.  

Van Jones stated that after Kamala Harris wasn’t elected to the presidency, that it made so many black girls and women feel sad. That they were hoping to wake up and feel “worthy.” I didn’t see it that way and I didn’t believe that. Kamala Harris lost the election not because people thought that she couldn’t do the job, but because they knew that she could.  

It’s no different from when Jesus rid the demon from the man in Gerasenes and then drove the demon into the pigs. Although the demented man had been terrorizing the community for a while, once Jesus showed his powers that allowed him to heal the man and make the community better, they rejected Jesus. It wasn’t because he couldn’t fulfill their needs, but because he could. And in that, is an inherited feeling of unworthiness and a fear of being closer to God.  

In order for one’s life to be made better, one has to feel worthy of their life being made better before that can happen. And this is the unworthiness that so many people work hard to project onto black girls and women all over the world. They don’t oppress us and treat us this way because they truly believe we are unworthy, but because deep down they feel unworthy of us. And when this rejection or feeling of threat comes from others, you must dust your feet off and keep it pushing.  

Don’t allow people to only see the God in you, because they’ll have ungodly [unspoken] expectations of you that you can never (and should never try) to live up to. This will cause them to put you on a pedestal and treat you with all reverence, until one day they see you are human, and you will fall, causing them to disrespect you. Don’t allow people to only see the humanity of you because then they will denigrate and disrespect you right away, only recognizing how wrong they were at a later time, and most likely never issuing an apology.   

Only go where you are loved unconditionally and where they can see and accept all parts of you, as God does. Respect is always the minimum. And only in that respect will you get as close to God as you possibly can while you’re walking this Earth.  

Remember, nobody denigrates the one they already see as unworthy, because that person already makes them feel like the superior man. They only denigrate the ones that have the audacity to walk with the inherent worth that God created all his children to have, because that is the person that highlights their flaws, their pain, and their trauma and makes them feel like the inferior man. And rather than being inspired and using that as a north star to improve, they try to recruit you to their side instead. Don’t ever let society do it. Respect is always the bare minimum.